Random

Haven't written anything in a long time. I wanted to, but I guess I am just lazy. Actually I am lazier than I seem to be. When I talk, I sound like a super hard working guy; the way I live my daily life may seem to be hard working to people. But if someone takes a deeper look, he/she will find me a complete lazy guy. I spend a great amount of time in a day just thinking. I think about a lot of stuff, stupid stuff probably. I think about writing my blog when I am sad which is actually most of the time in a day. I always tell people that 'I am sad' is a disease. Everyone has got problems in their life, it's up to us to be able to stay happy having those problems in life. I act like I am not driven by emotions, but I totally am driven by emotions. I get emotional about a lot of things. Although I can wake up every morning and do what I am supposed to do keeping the emotions inside, I can never ignore them. And I am not a social guy. I don't know how to talk to people. I try so hard to find friends and I care a lot about unnecessary things. It makes me even more sad when I find that I am not compatible with this society. I have been focused in career and success for a long time and in the way of doing that I lost my friends and ability to find friends. I am not interested in most of the topics people around me talk about and that's why it's really hard for me to be in the conversation. I can't pretend to be interested. But I can't just stop focusing on my goal, because there are things more important to me than being not lonely or having a lot of friends. Probably someone can have both, but I am not that good. And I miss her. Whatever, I just needed to talk and I don't have anyone to talk to. So, here it goes, another miserable entry from a miserable person.